2/29/08

I can't do it much longer. I need something more. Something to make all the hard times worth it. Something to know that there will be more to come.

2/17/08

I have discovered the best movie ever, Juno. The basic plot is Juno gets bored has sex with her best friend and gets pregnant. Sounds like a dumb movie, but it is absolutley amazing. Ellen Page is an amazing actress. She makes the movie even better than it would have been without her.

The soundtrack for the movie is awsome. Lots of obsecure artists. Kimya Dawson's songs on the album are really wierd, but way cool. There really are no words to describe them other than they draw you in.

3/23/07

I almost quite last night. There seems like there is no reason to keep going. I know it's almost over, but I don't know how I can like some of the girls after this week. Public humilation is something I don't take easily. If they can be like this for one week it makes me wonder who they really are. During the day some of then act like they don't want us to join. They make me feel like I'm the scum of the earth, like i shouldn't even be their. Their the ones that are supossed to want us there. Why do they treat us this way?

I told you I wouldn't cry again, but I did last night. I couldn't help it. I miss you so much. I know you aren't gone, but you're out of my reach and that hurts more than spending a summer apart. All week long i've been on the verge of crying and have been able to keep it bottled up except for twice. I'm sorry for embarasing you in front of everyone. I really tried not to.  

3/22/07

Another one for you love

Stay strong love. You're doing amazing. Everytime I see you all I want to do is run up to you and hug you. I am proud to say that you're my boyfriend.  Here's a letter I started writing you. I haven't finished it yet, but thought you would like to read it.

            Before we even began I knew you were the one. The one I wanted to be with until the end. The feelings I felt, were new to me. At first I could not place them. They didn’t seem to be sad, happy, mad or any of the feelings I knew. I would see you and my stomach would go crazy. I thought the feelings I was feeling might mean I actually liked you, but how could I like Miller Time. All I’d ever heard about you was bad stuff. Everyone always said Miller Time was a big partier who treated girls like shit. They never said anything about how you really are. How you are kind and caring and would go to the end of the world to help them. I never heard about all the times you helped girls out after parties. You an amazing boyfriend. It seems like a dream going out with you.   

3/21/07

3/20/07

This week is probably the hardest week of my life because the most important person in my life is just out of my reach. I see him and want to run over to him and hug him and ask him how his days going and make him happy when he's not. I can't do that this week and it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced. When I see him walking towards me I have to walk away so that I don't do something that I'm not suposed to and get him in trouble.

For you my love I am going to make it through this week. It would be to hard if I didn't have you to think about. The only reason why I am doing as good as I am is because I have you to think about and I know you have a hundred times harder than me. When you're going through hell and don't think your going to make it through the week, just remember that I LOVE YOU, you are my one and only love, my shining star. Good luck, your doing awsome.

7/19/06

SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. One month left until I get to see Jason again. I can't wait. Time has been going by so slow. I can't wait. I think I might die before the 19th comes.